Next

Back

Poor Edward, Poor Hilda ....cont

Last Christmas, remembering the cow incident, it was decided that Hilda should play a backstage role in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'. She was put in charge of casting. Bearing in mind her new-found 'political correctness' this was a major mistake. Hilda thought that it would be 'politically incorrect' to have dwarfs appearing in the play. Therefore, none of the 'dwarfs' were very small. In fact, the smallest of them was six feet four. Three of them were members of the local basketball team. To make matters worse, the girl who played Snow White was only five feet two. It has to be the first time ever that Snow White complained. of a stiff neck from having to look up at the dwarfs. Hilda also managed to get her way about some re-writing of the script. For example, it was mentioned thirty eight times that the Wicked Queen was a vegan. Worst of all though was when the 'dwarfs' sang ''Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to badly paid manual labour we go'. The whole thing was a total disaster. Hilda has since been asked to leave the theatrical society.
    After the panto debacle 'political correctness' was quickly abandoned However, Hilda soon found a new fad to take its place - yoga! She had managed to discover a particularly unusual form of yoga, one that involves being completely naked. One of the most embarrassing days of my life occurred just after the New Year. I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and discovered Hilda, stark naked, arms stretched out in front of her, sat on the table and chanting some mumbo jumbo or other. As you can imagine I was absolutely shocked by what I found. Though not as shocked, I suspect, as the window cleaner, who was cleaning the outside of our kitchen windows at the time. He hasn't been back since, not even to collect his money. Hilda announced yesterday that she intends to take up hang gliding, so I can't even begin to imagine what lies ahead. I'll be in touch soon

Yours in desperation,

Edward

END.

More of Chris Shaw?
Yes Please

Did you enjoy reading this?  You can tell us what you thought of it by clicking here:- Tell Us

If you do this, we are not able to contact you, unless you supply your e-mail address as part of your comments.  Ed.

Next Index Page