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          The Return of Aunt Elisha cont

      It was during the course of the next morning which found me looking moodily out of the window that Providence stepped by, disguised as a hand-cart filled with dried dung, and pulled by a probably evil smelling man, passed by my window. He offered some of the contents to the householder next door but was refused a sale - even with the best possible cow excrement and all the badness evaporated out of it.
      "I say, old chap," I said in my most ingratiating tones, stepping in front of him. "I should like you to do me a favour and yourself at the same time. I have a little bag of fertiliser at home which is not suitable for my garden but would do wonders for one I know to be in great need of nourishment." He looked at me in a vague kind of way. "I wonder if you would offer her a bag of your superb manure, as a sample, as it were and a bag of my fertiliser as a bonus? Say anything you like to persuade her. Tell her she won't ever regret using them both. Her garden will grow as never before."
      He thought for a minute, scratching his furry chin. "It's not poison, sir, is it? I could never agree to anything like that." And there was more than a hint of misgiving in his voice. "Give me your word about that." And then almost as an afterthought. "Er - what price did you say, sir?"
      I hadn't, but grasping the hint, I quoted a goodly sum and we shook hands on it.    Next moment the barrow was rattling up the road towards Sloan Lane, with my striding discretely behind. I heard the owner saying, "All right then. I'll take it, but it's really no use to me at all. I don't do the garden much but my neighbour would be glad of it. She does more work in it than me."
      I stole back to my home, empty handed of course, and opened the door. As I stepped into the hall a sudden puff of wind caught it and, with a resounding smash, it slammed tight shut and the glass tinkled to the floor. I did say that Aunt Elisha could be terse.

            END
 

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